I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize