I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize