i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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