so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
