Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
