Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
