I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
