there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
