u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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