Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
