Whod you bang
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
