The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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