I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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