i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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