she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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