I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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