i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
