imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We smell like vodka and hangover
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