I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
