Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
