I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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