Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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