just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she smelled like a LAN party
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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