Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
