Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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