In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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