I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
