somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
