I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
