well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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