Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
