I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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