She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
