he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
