you would pick up someone in the library
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
