I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
