He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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