Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize