If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
