Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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