Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
