ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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