It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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