Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize