So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
