your room smells of hookers.
And success
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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