It's like a parade of train wrecks.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
