I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
