I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
