This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
