He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
