So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
