Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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