She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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