On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize