Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
