I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just cropdusted the office
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk is a universal language darling
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
